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Snark and Consequences

I can be snarky. Sometimes it’s unintentional. Sometimes it’s an attempt at wit. Sometimes it’s deliberate (sad but true).

Snark: noun
Combination of “snide” and “remark”. Sarcastic comment(s).
Also snarky (adj.) and snarkily (adv.)

I’ve learned to show my husband things I’ve written that may be construed as snarky. Many times, I disagree with his assessment. (He’s very patient when I ask for his advice, then don’t like it).

Take for example, our exchange over my satiric interview with gender-role-swapping parents. How could that be taken in any way other than the humorous yet thought provoking one I meant?

“It’s just meant to show what can happen if you take things too far. How could anyone possibly take this the wrong way? I’ve made it very obvious.”

“It’s obvious to you. Not to anyone else.”

“But it’s really, really funny. I crack up every time I read it.”

He  doesn’t respond to this. We don’t always agree on what constitutes funny.

I usually get a second (and hopefully more agreeable)  opinion from my friend, Artisté. Her sense of humor is more compatible with mine.

She’s more diplomatic than my husband: “Well, it’s different, but I’m not really sure if you should post it. It’s really up to you.”

In other words– “Don’t post it.”

As I write tonight, my home town is being ripped apart by a vote for a millage increase to keep our library open. The debate and tension have been escalating for over a year and today is the day of reckoning. I thought of a very witty/snarky saying concerning the situation to post on my facebook. I didn’t think it was political, but I asked my husband about it, just to be sure. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t post it.”

Aaahhh. It gets frustrating. I called Artisté.  She said, “It’s funny, but are you sure you want to post it?”

“Yes, why shouldn’t I?” Besides being snarky, I’m dense and I wanted to understand why I shouldn’t post it.

“You should post it, if you’re prepared to deal with the consequences. When you post something remotely political or controversial people are going to respond. They’re going to misunderstand you, or disagree with you and they might get nasty. And you’ll need to address that. If you’re prepared to deal with the backlash or if you want to encourage dialogue about the issue, then by all means publish it. If you don’t want to deal with the consequences, you’d better not publish it.”

OH! I get it. Who knew Artisté was so wise?

I told my husband about our conversation. His attitude was “Duh”, but a patient duh, like that’s what he’s been saying all along.

Just in case I didn’t get it, he reiterated, “You know from personal (and may I add painful) experience that even an  email can be misunderstood and end up causing lots of problems. It’s the same with any online posting. You have to be prepared to deal  with the consequences.”

Snark dripped from his pen.

Ok, I get it. I may post things that I don’t think are snarky/nasty, but others may take it that way. I’ll be starting trouble I didn’t mean to start.

On the other hand, I keep hearing that controversy is a sure way to promote readership and increase comments. Maybe posting some of this provocative stuff would get more traffic to my site. So why don’t I just post the stuff they say I shouldn’t?  Because as much as I may like a post I’ve written, the purpose of my blog is not to stir up controversy or to offend anyone.

I’m not looking for controversy, but I am interested in differing opinions and perspectives. In fact, sharing thoughts was my purpose for starting this blog: A place to confabulate with you, so we can learn more about each other.

Therefore, I’ll try to forgo the snark. I have enough controversy every day in the bubble I share with six other witty people.

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2 comments on “Snark and Consequences

  1. One thing I will say is that I’m often surprised by the comments I get to some of my posts. I have found it very difficult to tell how people will respond.

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