Facebook Paralysis

It was one of those things I swore I’d never have. I also swore I’d never wear four inch heels. Those things have a way of coming back to bite you.

“You need to be on Facebook if you’re going to do a blog,” my friend, Artisté, told me.

I hated to admit that she was right, but she was–all of the “Starting a Blog” blogs agreed on that. So I got a Facebook account.

Here is the first post on my wall (It’s more than a little pathetic):

“Remember your first day of high school or college, before you knew your way around but everyone around you knew where they were going? Intimidating. That’s how I feel right now in the vastness that is Facebook.”

After that, I sat staring at my wall or the news feed hoping the more I stared the more I would understand. I learned it is not a process of osmosis. I had to figure it out myself.

Artisté helped as much as she could and referred a list of people that I might want to friend. I mistakenly thought they wanted to friend me, so I clicked on them all, even those I didn’t know.

But as I began to friend and be friended, I grew excited. So many conversations going on between people I knew that I could join. So many people I had lost touch with. I couldn’t wait to say “hi”.

I sat once again staring at the News Feed. Suddenly, it wasn’t like the first day of school anymore. It was like arriving late to a class reunion. All the people I was excited to see seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with someone else as I stood awkwardly at the entrance thinking: What is the polite way to break into their conversation? Will they think I’m an idiot? What the heck am I going to say/write? Other than “Hi, how have you been?”, I had no idea.

I would strengthen my resolve and click on someone’s wall. Then stare at the screen paralyzed because I still had no idea what to do or say. I would call to one of my daughters, (I hate whining, but I think that is what it occasionally sounded like). They were very patient. If they rolled their eyes, they did it behind my back.

“I need help. What am I supposed to say?”

“Just go on a wall and write something. You’re over-thinking it.”

“They’re in the middle of something with another person. I don’t want to  interrupt.”

“You’re not interrupting. That doesn’t even make sense. You just post something.”

I know that one day I’ll be comfortable on Facebook. I’ll leave the nervous freshman in me behind to become the confident sophomore, posting a trail of humorous comments and little snippets on walls throughout its vast expanse.

Maybe after I finish writing this post and drinking my glass of wine, I’ll give it one more try. Well, it is getting late. I think I’ll wait until tomorrow.




3 comments on “Facebook Paralysis

  1. I understand how weird facebook seemed at first. I was overwhelmed and I too felt akward. I also recall how I quickly developed an obession with it, trying to be on it all the time for fear that I might miss something. As my obession wore off I found myself feeling slightly rejected at times because no one was writing on my wall….it felt like the rejections of high school all over again. I realized how stupid I was being and saw I needed to be proactive, and I needed to get my head out of cyberworld and back into reality. Facebook is neat, but reality is so much better.


  2. I’m never getting a Facebook. even when i DO become the New-York Times Bestselling author.


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